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Showing posts from January, 2015

The One

"How did you know Joseph was the one?"

This is the question I get from my single girlfriends. The answer is both simple and complicated. 

One simple answer is "I didn't know." Nowhere in life do we get a 100% dud-free guarantee. Especially not in marriage. No woman ever knows if her beloved is going to be a completely different man after the wedding. 

The other simple answer is "I don't believe in 'The One'." Love is a choice, and I could have chosen to spend my life with any of half a dozen great guys. 

The more complicated answer is:

1.) He loved the Lord. And not in a lip-service way. He had had an encounter with Jesus that had changed his life and he loved telling people about it. 
2.) He loved his Mama, but not in a co-dependent, mama's boy way. He spoke well about her and shared his favorite memories of her. And my Mama always says that the way a man treats his mom is the way he will treat his future wife. 
3.) He had a steady job, owne…

Smile, You're on Camera!

When I was single, the scariest thing about getting married was the thought that I would have to be "on" all the time. That my husband would be a 24-hour surveillance camera. That I would never be able to be myself--for the rest of my life! The thought was exacerbated by my introverted nature. I like my space and my alone time. I like my independence and not having to answer to anyone.

So living with someone--sleeping in the same bed as someone, sharing everything-- terrified me. There would always be someone who would want to know where I was going and what I was doing at all times. And worse, what if he didn't like the way I was when I was tired, or dressed badly, or sick, or not shaved. I'd rather just not get married to be safe!

But when I got married I found instead one of the only people whom I could truly be myself with. The one that didn't mind my goofy songs or bed head. And more than that, the one that finds me beautiful whether we're on a date or hav…