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Showing posts from January, 2015

The One

"How did you know Joseph was the one?"

This is the question I get from my single girlfriends. The answer is both simple and complicated. 

One simple answer is "I didn't know." Nowhere in life do we get a 100% dud-free guarantee. Especially not in marriage. No woman ever knows if her beloved is going to be a completely different man after the wedding. 

The other simple answer is "I don't believe in 'The One'." Love is a choice, and I could have chosen to spend my life with any of half a dozen great guys. 

The more complicated answer is:

1.) He loved the Lord. And not in a lip-service way. He had had an encounter with Jesus that had changed his life and he loved telling people about it. 
2.) He loved his Mama, but not in a co-dependent, mama's boy way. He spoke well about her and shared his favorite memories of her. And my Mama always says that the way a man treats his mom is the way he will treat his future wife. 
3.) He had a steady job, owne…

Tall, Dark, and Handsome

"What's your type?"
"Whad'ya mean 'type'?"
"You know...type. Everyone has one. Do you prefer a blonde, a brunette, a ginger? Athletic? Short or tall? Quiet or talkative? Artistic or nerdy?"

This was the conversation my husband and I had in the car a few weeks ago. Then I had it again with a couple of girlfriends later on in the week. A lot of laughter ensued each time, as well as a few new realizations.

I discovered, much to my relief and amazement, that I was indeed my husband's "type"--dark eyes, olive skin, and ahem...curves. And to his surprise and amazement, he found that physically, he's not my "type" at all. Not to say I don't find my husband physically attractive--I think he's a total hottie!--but it's just that his build and features were not what I would have looked for when I was dating. 

"So what is your type, then?"
"Honestly? Um...ok, I got it. Think Hugh Jackman in the Wolveri…

Smile, You're on Camera!

When I was single, the scariest thing about getting married was the thought that I would have to be "on" all the time. That my husband would be a 24-hour surveillance camera. That I would never be able to be myself--for the rest of my life! The thought was exacerbated by my introverted nature. I like my space and my alone time. I like my independence and not having to answer to anyone.

So living with someone--sleeping in the same bed as someone, sharing everything-- terrified me. There would always be someone who would want to know where I was going and what I was doing at all times. And worse, what if he didn't like the way I was when I was tired, or dressed badly, or sick, or not shaved. I'd rather just not get married to be safe!

But when I got married I found instead one of the only people whom I could truly be myself with. The one that didn't mind my goofy songs or bed head. And more than that, the one that finds me beautiful whether we're on a date or hav…