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Showing posts from June, 2015

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

I fell on the bed exhausted. Thoughts I had never dreamed I'd have had been bombarding me for months. And for the first time in years I felt the pangs of an old foe...guilt. I turned on some worship music and cried. I told the Lord how awful and dirty I felt. I lay there arms outstretched and let his love flow over me until I fell asleep. 
This was the turning point for me.
You see, I absolutely adore my husband. For the first four years of our marriage, no matter what financial problem, personal tragedy, or health issue came up, we were a team!  
But this past year I found myself thinking about another guy while I was with him...
Yeah, this was not like me. 
Yeah, I was completely ashamed of it. 
And it didn't just suddenly happen one day. It was far more subtle than that.
It started with something Joe would fail to do or something rude he would say, and immediately I'd hear the lie...he doesn't think you're lovable anymore.
And then he'd be too tired to do anything w…

The Dance

My husband and I took swing dance lessons before our wedding. He had never really danced and I had never danced with a partner, so we thought we should at least have some basics before we had to dance in front of a crowd at our wedding.
The first couple of classes were miserable. He lacked confidence and I lacked the ability to follow. I kept trying to guess where he was going to go and kept ruining the flow. He was trying to get the moves down right and make it look good. We were having no fun at all and wanted to quit a few times. But with each class, he got better at moving and I got better at letting go and following. Now we love to dance around in the kitchen all the time!
I was talking to a recently married friend a few weeks ago about the difficulties of adjusting to married life after being single for so long. Yeah, it’s hard. It’s frustrating. It makes you wonder if maybe this was a bad idea and if maybe you should quit. Cut yourself some slack. Cut your husband some slack. Yo…