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Let There Be Love

Spending some time with the Lord.

I love my story in God...
In the hardest chapters I have seen beauty
and extreme loving-kindness...

That's where I am today...shocked once again by how much I am loved.

I have days where the depression is so dark and heavy and deep, it's almost physically difficult to breathe. Days when i think thoughts I'm later too embarrassed to say out loud.

I hate myself for these days. I hate that my usually joyful self can be so shaken by such an elusive thing. I hate that one thing my husband does or says during this time can pierce me to the core. I hate the things I think toward him. I hate the things I think toward myself.

In the depths of humiliation and embarrassment,
crushed by my own inadequacy and stupidity,
He mined grace for me at a depth I hardly knew existed...

I have learned to come to the Lord during these times, to worship and pray when I don't feel like it. And he has been for many years, my constant source of encouragement during these times.

But he has been changing the way he encourages me.

He is showing me that it's time to share my feelings, both the good and the bad, and everything i think is ugly. And he's showing me how important people are to the health of my mind and heart.

For example, a few months ago, Joe and I had a couple of friends over for a night of games and dinner. As much as I usually enjoy their presence, I was not looking forward to cleaning the house, cooking, and staying up late chatting with them. I was exhausted and feeling peopled-out.

But what I didn't know was that their presence and love and fun was exactly what I needed. I was so touched by their generosity, their peacefulness, and their laughter. I went to bed almost in tears with how much they had spoken life into me in just a few hours.

Grace purified me by restoring me to holiness 
and leaving me awestruck with gratitude.

That's where I am today...awestruck with gratitude. Over and over this kind of thing keeps happening. Little things from people that touch my soul and bring me to tears because they reveal that the Father doesn't care how deep the darkness is...he lives in light and wants me there with him.

I've been on the mountain, bathed in a light so strong
I thought I would dissolve in happiness.

Dear friend, let your guard down. Let yourself open up to the love of the Father. Let that love come through the kindnesses of others. Stop striving. Stop beating yourself up. Just let Him love you through someone else.

The matter, therefore, of how much we are loved is most vital.
What if every day, every circumstance was cleverly designed
to show us another glimpse of the Father's heart?

Quotes from the book Prophetic Wisdom by Graham Cooke.


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