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Showing posts from 2017

Watching Sunsets

Earlier in the spring, I sat back in my lounge chair in the backyard and watched as the sun set. The sky was alive with pinks and purples and oranges on one side and with the first sparkles of starlight on the other. I snuggled into my warm hoodie and enjoyed the cool, evening breeze on my face. I wondered why I didn't do this more often. Why I didn't simply allow myself to enjoy these fleeting moments of time that I so thoroughly enjoy. I love being outside. I love this time of day. I love chilly weather and warm sweaters. I love silence and looking up at the sky. It fills my soul and refreshes my mind. 
Later in the spring, my husband and I hosted a Memorial Day cook-out. The kids running after our dog with sand, and watermelon, and ice-cream on their faces. Babies snuggling with their moms on blankets. The men hooting and hollering at each other during lawn games. The women chatting and laughing and sharing photos. The house and yard were full, and so was my heart. This is w…

Searching for Prince Charming

I am a product of my generation. My childhood consisted of princesses singing about their longing for the perfect prince and pining away the hours until they met him. He was the one who promised to take them away from it all: from their overbearing families, their responsibilities, their boring lives. He promised to usher them into a lifetime of carefree days and romantic nights. He was the answer to everything their hearts desired. 
My young adult years have consisted of the same plot line, only now it's romantic comedies and Jane Eyre. 
And now I am married to my own prince. He is kind, strong, and handsome. But he isn't the answer to all my longings. He did whisk me away from my family, but I have more responsibilities now than ever. And my life is certainly far from boring, but not in the way I had expected.
I have met dozens of women who seem to be in this same predicament. Their husbands aren't Prince Charming. He is insensitive to her feelings, he refuses to grow up, h…

Let's Talk About Sex...Again

My wedding night was going to be the best night of my marriage. Romantic, passionate, and full of wonder. I had been dreaming about it my whole adult life.  

I had made it to my wedding day physically pure, which I thought was the ultimate goal of a Christian woman. What I hadn't been taught was that I would still have to deal with emotional and physical obstacles. Even though we were now married, I struggled with feeling dirty and ashamed around my husband. I struggled with physical pain, with frustration, with disappointment. 
I had spent most of my life being consciously or subconsciously taught that leaving certain parts of my body uncovered would cause little boys and later guys and men to, at best, be distracted by my body, and at worse to take it as an invitation for something more. Sex education classes in school, advertisers on TV, well-meaning family, and everyone within my Christian circles had taught me that my body parts were somehow dirty, shameful, and sinful. 

So as a…

Let's Talk About Sex

I first published this post in January of 2012. Our daughter hadn't even been conceived yet, I had just started writing, and my husband had just started his business. Still the stresses of life haven't changed much and things still hold true for our marriage 5 years later. 

One of the babies I watch cried all day today--literally, all day--stopping only for 10 minutes to drink her bottle and for another 10 minutes when I was singing "Old McDonald". We don't have a washer and dryer, so I took 6 loads of laundry one at a time, by foot, to the laundromat on the complex.  I started at 8 this morning and I am still drying clothes. While I was making tea this morning, my one small pleasure during the day, my teapot caught on fire--yes, I didn't know they could do that either.  There is still a bed full of clothes to fold, dinner to make, dog poop to clean off the patio, and baby spit-up in my hair.  I'm exhausted.
But when my husband comes through the door later …

Two Becoming One

An excellent wife is the crownofherhusband. Proverbs 12:4
All I knew was my husband wasn't living up to my expectations.

I started questioning his motives and intentions. Every action he took or didn't take seemed like a personal attack. 

"He left his socks on the floor just to spite me." 
"He forgot to text me from work because someone else was on his mind." 
"He didn't want intimacy tonight because he doesn't like me anymore."

Then I started to distance myself emotionally from my husband. If he was in the house, I would only give him passive-aggressive hints about how he had disappointed me that day or I'd give him the cold shoulder, expecting him to know what he had done wrong.
I could only see things from my perspective. I could only see how my husband's actions were affecting me. I could only see my unfulfilled dreams and shattered expectations. I only knew my hurt and my pain. I was so trapped inside my own thoughts I couldn't se…

Taming My Tongue

So too the tongue is a tiny part of the body, yet it boasts great things. With it we bless God, the Father; and with it we curse people, who were made in the image of God.Out of the same mouth come blessing and cursing! Brothers, it isn’t right for things to be this way. James 3:5,9

My name is Sarah and I am a gossip.
A few months ago I found myself sharing with my husband some things a friend had shared with me in confidence. I shared no intimate details, but just enough to get his view of the situation and some advice as to how to handle it. 
But that had been enough to change my husband's view of that person. Just a few minutes into our conversation I wish I had never opened my mouth.
Then the next morning, as I was doing an online Bible Study, the Lord began to show me the other times in my life where I have done the same thing. I have shared a friend's precious secrets under the guise of "needing prayer" or "just venting" or "wanting advice." 
And s…

What I've Learned About Being Mentored

Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. Proverbs 13:20
They have been professors and boss's wives, fellow co-workers, church ladies, and distant relatives. They have taught me everything from how to make a chicken pot pie and balance a checkbook, to how to respect a husband, pray, and raise children, to how to say no with grace and tact. Were it not for them, I would be a very different person today.

I'm talking about my mentors. Men and women who have, usually unknowingly, taught me some of life's greatest lessons.  
I wanted to share more about mentors and the mentoring process because the lessons I've learned from them come up often in my conversations and in my writing. I wanted to dispel a few myths and speak truth about what a mentoring relationship can be and what it shouldn't be. 
1.)A mentor is usually someone older, but doesn't always have to be. I've had a couple of mentors who are my age but who are a few seasons ah…

Puppy Love

I was online reminiscing with a friend about "old times." We have both since moved states, she got her Master's, I got married, and we're both doing what we love in a way we never expected.

The name of a mutual friend came up...a guy I had had a huge crush on in college. So I did what any normal woman would do...I Facebook-stalked him. To clarify, I no longer have any feelings for this guy, so it's not like I was looking to rekindle something (trust me, there was nothing there to rekindle. He only saw me as a younger sister, which was a big bummer for me at the time.) To my young, wide-eyed, college-age eyes he was the epitome of everything I thought I wanted in a future husband. He was charming, outgoing, a scholar, tall, handsome, and when he smiled...*sigh* my whole world stopped turning. I had followed him around like a puppy even though he was a few years older and we didn't share a single class. I was in love with his persona and I was crushed that he …