Skip to main content

Tall, Dark, and Handsome


Me: "What's your type?"

Him: "Whad'ya mean 'type'?"

Me: "You know...type. Everyone has one. Do you prefer a blonde, a brunette, a ginger? Athletic? Short or tall? Quiet or talkative? Artistic or nerdy?"

This was the conversation my husband and I had on a long car ride once. A lot of laughter ensued, as well as a few new realizations.

I discovered, much to my relief and amazement, that I was indeed my husband's "type"--dark eyes, olive skin, and, ahem...curves. And to his surprise and amazement, he found that physically, he's not my "type" at all. Not to say I don't find my husband physically attractive--I think he's a total hottie!--but it's just that his build and features were not what I would have looked for when I was dating. 

Him: "So what is your type, then?"

Me: "Honestly? Um...ok, I got it. Think Hugh Jackman in the Wolverine movies. Dark, broad-shouldered, mysterious."

Him: "Hahaha! So what type am I then?"

Me: "You're a Calvin Klein model: light complexion, slim, and athletic.

Yeah, my husband is not the picture I had in my mind when I used to think about my future husband. Not physically or in a lot of other ways. I used to think I would marry someone a lot like me. Instead I have someone who is in almost every way a complete opposite of me. And I love it! I love being introduced to the rugged, ever-changing, and sometimes dangerous world of my husband. 

I would be lying if I said I have never been attracted to another guy, especially one that fits my "ideal type." But I try to keep in mind what a mentor once taught me while I was still single:
"Tall, dark, and handsome + 20 years = hunched, gray, and wrinkled." In other words, marry a man whose values will stand the test of time, because his looks won't (and to clarify, neither will mine!)

Behind my husband's honey-colored eyes and genuine smile (the first things I noticed about him when we met!) is a man who is patient, generous, and makes me laugh. We're not gray and wrinkled yet, but when we get there, I know those will be the traits I still find attractive in him! 


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Free from Guilt

A couple of friends and I have had conversations this week about the thing that seems to plague all women most of the time...guilt.

I feel guilty about standing my ground when I know I'm right. What if I hurt the other person's feelings? 
I feel guilty about honestly saying no when I don't want to do something.  What if I'm just being selfish?
I feel guilty about not attending every birthday or wedding I'm invited to. Or accepting every friend request on social media. Or volunteering for every empty spot on the church help list. 
I feel guilty about buying myself a new shirt. Or a new book. Because maybe that money could be used for something more important. 
I feel guilty for just wanting to be alone--a lot--instead of out partying it up with people. 
I feel guilty for sitting my kid in front of the TV for a few minutes while I write this. 
I feel guilty for just wanting a foot rub at the end of the day, and not a steamy evening of romance.

I feel guilty that I haven'…

Everything I Thought I Knew

Relationship magazines, advertisements for women, submission talks in church, modesty talks in youth group, and my mother's and grandmother's own views about men and their own broken relationships...I brought all these lessons with me into my marriage, ready to be the greatest wife ever! But I have been disappointed by some of this advice and I've had to relearn a few things along the way. 

1) As long as you're a good cook and keep a clean home, your husband will be happy. (Ok, there's sex too, but I'll talk about it later)  A few dirty dishes, which to me are the end of the world, aren't even on my husband's radar. He'd rather me sit with him and watch a movie or work on a project together.

2) You're too fat, you forgot to shave, your tan lines are showing, your breasts are too small, your butt is too big, your hair is too flat. It was absolutely terrifying to stand naked in front of my husband for the first time-- for the first hundred times. It…

Seasons

My daughter, my dog, and I were walking in the woods today when we came to a spot that was familiar and stopped. I could just barely tell it was the same place we visited a couple of winters ago. Everything looked so different under the weight and shade of leaves, flowers, and berries. The water was bubbling and the air was alive with both humidity and bugs. This seemed worlds away from the still, barren cold we experienced on our first visit.

This moment reminded of the change of seasons in our own lives. On my own personal journey, my life looked very different a year ago. In fact, this very walk, in the heat and sun, for this long, would not have been possible. I was battling physical and mental symptoms of anxiety that had made even getting out of bed impossible on some days. What a transformation a year has made! I am not the same, nor will I ever be again. Much the same way this spot in nature is both familiar and strange during a different season. 

I live my life in seasons. What…