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Showing posts from August, 2017

Put it in Writing

I celebrated my 33rd birthday last week. It was such a treat to get a slew of birthday cards in the mail. I absolutely love cards. When I was younger I kept every single one in boxes and had created more of a problem for myself than anticipated. In the spirit of the minimalist project I've started this year, I no longer keep my cards in boxes; I will enjoy them to the fullest but they will be tossed in a few weeks. But for now, they sit like colorful butterflies on my fridge, flapping their messages every time I walk by or open the door, reminding me of all those who have been thinking about me, taking time out of their busy lives to send me their well-wishes. 

The summer has been full of activity and I've had little time to invest in writing to others. But now school supplies are on sale and the weather is getting cooler, and I can feel my heart yearning to write. This yearning is for more than just typing on a screen; it's for colorful pens and paper and handwritten words…

Free from Guilt

A couple of friends and I have had conversations this week about the thing that seems to plague all women most of the time...guilt.

I feel guilty about standing my ground when I know I'm right. What if I hurt the other person's feelings? 
I feel guilty about honestly saying no when I don't want to do something.  What if I'm just being selfish?
I feel guilty about not attending every birthday or wedding I'm invited to. Or accepting every friend request on social media. Or volunteering for every empty spot on the church help list. 
I feel guilty about buying myself a new shirt. Or a new book. Because maybe that money could be used for something more important. 
I feel guilty for just wanting to be alone--a lot--instead of out partying it up with people. 
I feel guilty for sitting my kid in front of the TV for a few minutes while I write this. 
I feel guilty for just wanting a foot rub at the end of the day, and not a steamy evening of romance.

I feel guilty that I haven'…

Becoming a Woman

Every time I stretch for my workout... Every time I clean my home... Every time I make a chicken pot pie... Every time I send a thank you card...
...I remember the woman who introduced me to the skill in the first place.  And I smile. I have been made a stronger, deeper woman because of those women that have poured their love and life into me.
In one of my favorite books, Wild at Heart, John Eldredge explains how femininity cannot bestow masculinity. A young man without a father cannot grow to be a man just by watching mom or grandmom. A young man can only become a man by watching and learning from other men whether it's a biological father, family member, or mentor. 
I believe that femininity too cannot be bestowed by masculinity. No matter how much my daddy loved me and my professors and male pastors spoke into my life, my inner sense of worth and confidence in being a woman has come mostly from other women. Sadly, it's only in the past 8 years or so (because of issues with my own…

Seasons

My daughter, my dog, and I were walking in the woods today when we came to a spot that was familiar and stopped. I could just barely tell it was the same place we visited a couple of winters ago. Everything looked so different under the weight and shade of leaves, flowers, and berries. The water was bubbling and the air was alive with both humidity and bugs. This seemed worlds away from the still, barren cold we experienced on our first visit.

This moment reminded of the change of seasons in our own lives. On my own personal journey, my life looked very different a year ago. In fact, this very walk, in the heat and sun, for this long, would not have been possible. I was battling physical and mental symptoms of anxiety that had made even getting out of bed impossible on some days. What a transformation a year has made! I am not the same, nor will I ever be again. Much the same way this spot in nature is both familiar and strange during a different season. 

I live my life in seasons. What…