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Showing posts from April, 2012

Macho Men

I had to begin to understand the heart of the Father before I could ever love a man. The Lord knew that, and so long before he brought Joseph and I together, he had begun to put key men in my life who would personify the love of the Father. Some of these men I knew personally and some I only knew through a book they had written, but each one shaped, or rather reshaped, my view of Godly masculinity.

T.D. Jakes, in his book, Daddy Loves His Girls, writes: "A daughter watches her father and draws conclusions as to what men are like.  She watches and studies her father to ascertain what a male does and does not accept well.  It is on this safe perch of childhood that she can take notes that will assist her in later years.  She can determine that men are stable or unstable, reckless or responsible. We are, with our actions, defining the next generation's point of reference.  Her husband will be weighed on the scales of what her father was or was not to her and her mother."

My …

I Think I Can

I was breathing hard. My head was pounding, my chest burning, my mouth dry. All I could see was Joseph ahead of me climbing the hill so effortlessly, and looking back to encourage me on. Grr! I huffed, I puffed, and I cussed--yeah, it comes out when I'm really frustrated. The harder I pedaled the slower I seemed to go. Joseph was almost at the top looking down and telling me I could do it. Oh please, I thought, I don't even believe that! I mustered enough breath to mutter an exhausted "shut up!" between clenched teeth. How could I have let myself get so out of shape? I used to ride my bike all the time as a kid and I don't ever remember hills kicking my butt like this.

This whole scenario started a week before in our bedroom as we were getting ready to go somewhere. I couldn't fit into a particular piece of clothing and, whether because we were in a rush or because it was a certain time of the month, I just had a meltdown right there. I had gained 30 pounds wh…

Shut Up and Get Out of the Way

I love going to Lowe's with Joseph. I love designing a space with him and then picking up materials with him to make that project come to life. 

I love helping Joseph move a friend or family member from one place to another. I love packing boxes and getting them ready for him to move and stack in the truck.

When we work it's like a dance:  we know what the other person's going to do, and we know what the other person needs before they need it. We get the job done and love every minute. But it hasn't always been so.

When we were engaged, I dreaded going to Lowe's with Joseph. He would load up lumber, PVC pipe, and crown mold and I couldn't help. So I would try to take an end of a sheet of drywall to "help" him and he would tell me to please not get near. Once I tried to grab the end of a washing machine as he was loading it onto something, and I got a sharp "don't touch that!" I was only trying to help! I didn't deserve to be scolded…

Anniversary Trip

I laid back in the warm water and felt the bright sun on my face, the cool air on my arms, and breathed in the smell of dark earth bringing forth new life. All around me were a million shades of green peeking out from new buds and leaves and the dazzling blue sky over it all.

Joseph and I were in a cabin in the mountains.  Far above, it seemed, all the troubles and noise of the world.  A lone hawk swirled overhead and carpenter bees buzzed underneath the deck. I had snuck outside for a few minutes under this great canopy of creation, and I felt the Lord's presence in it all, but especially in the fact that I delighted in his creation.  I was filled with such a sense of wonder that I had almost forgotten I could feel. I saw myself again as a little girl, and the Lord reminded me that he always saw me this way. I was always his little girl, and everything he did in my life was to try to get me to always be in wonder at him.

Joseph came to join me a few minutes later. We both sat in h…

In Unexpected Places

Even before we opened our eyes that morning, we already knew it had been raining all night and was still raining. The smell of wet earth drifted in the screened window and the soft patter of raindrops from the trees sounded on the camper roof. Normally, I love warm, rainy days, but this morning I groaned at the thought of being wet. Joseph and our friend still had a shed to build, and his wife and I had moving and cleaning and errands to run. The idea of the goodness of the Lord had been fresh on my mind--I had been reading up on it-- and so I decided to take the Lord at his word. I felt something in my being shift as I defiantly said outloud, "Lord, those clouds are going to roll back, the ground will dry up, and by the time the guys are ready to start work this morning, everything will be ready for them, because you love them and because you are a good Father." Joseph agreed with me and we got up to get ready.

Two hours later, as the four of us finished breakfast and set ou…