Skip to main content

The Back Hallway

We were both dressed up at a fancy event when our eyes met across the room. Even through the heads of waiters, expensive hairdos, and tinkling champagne glasses, I could clearly see his face. There was a bored but mischievous look in his eyes that said "I have a better idea. Let's get out of here." I smiled back with an equally mischievous look and nodded over to the back hallway. We both slipped out of the noisy room unnoticed. Shoes and a tie dropped to the floor in anticipation of a romantic rendezvous. Just as our lips met and our arms embraced, we stumbled into an unlocked room. There, instead of the privacy we were expecting, there were a couple dozen young eyes looking back at us. "Why is he carrying her like that?" called out a small voice. And then, he woke up.

Yep. It had all been a dream. My husband's dream. He had been having several dreams just like it for a few weeks now. Hmm...obviously I was missing something as a wife. 

Very tenderly the Lord showed me that I had been taking better care of my child than my husband. Even when he called home during work, the subject was always about something our child had been doing. At the end of the day, when my husband wanted some romantic time, I was too tired to spend it with him. The dreams were the cry of a husband for the attention and adoration of his wife. 

Oh and by the way, Jesus said that cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry were not exactly the ways I showed my husband I loved him, anymore than going to church showed Jesus that I loved him. So you mean to tell me what I think makes a good wife, isn't really that important, Lord? Then what is? 

Look back to the dream, he said. Your husband was the only one you had eyes for in that dream, even with all the other distractions around. And even in all those distractions, you were thinking of how to get closer and alone with him. Do you do that on a regular basis?

No sir. Mostly what I think about is what I'm going to be cooking for dinner tomorrow. 

I heard the Lord chuckle. Then he said, Let your husband know your thinking about him throughout the day. Do the things you used to do when you were still dating.

We used to sit for hours on the porch and talk about our dreams and our future. 

Well then, that's a start. 

So this week I've made a conscious effort to put the baby to sleep early and spend time on the porch with him, and I noticed that he naturally started talking about all the things he wanted to do this summer. I could see his whole countenance light up with excitement as he told me about his plans. And when a man's passion for life has been rekindled, a wife's passion for her husband is rekindled too. Let's just say all this dreaming talk led to some romantic rendezvous. The Lord was so right...go figure! 


Popular posts from this blog

Body Image

I remember being 6 years old in my dance class. My mom walked out of the parent waiting area and offered me a sip of her Sprite. Two sips in I heard the teacher say from the front of the room, "That's enough. She doesn't need any more sweets. She's big enough." Some of the other girls snickered. After we finished our winter show later that month, I never went back to dance lessons again. 

I remember being 8 years old and my parents had friends over for dinner. The youngest was my age so upstairs we went to play. I sat on the edge of my bed while she ransacked my room. I told her she was being too rough with my stuff. She turned around, poked me in the stomach, and out of nowhere said,"Well at least I'm not chubby." I had no words for her statement but I spent the rest of the evening avoiding her by pretending to help in the kitchen. 

At 13 years old, my best guy friend told me that he would be interested in dating me if my legs were a little leaner an…

Lessons from Lunch

Recently, my daughter and I took lunch to my husband at his workplace. He's a re-modeler, so his job site is any home where the crew is currently working. This particular family invited me in and asked if we were going to be staying awhile. Normally, I would just say "oh no, thank you" and I'd be on my way, worried about being an inconvenience. Plus I had brought nothing with me to share so I was too embarrassed to take food or time from them without anything in return.

But I made up my mind this past year to enjoy people's presence for its own sake no matter how anxiety-inducing it may seem. There on their front porch, I decided to silence the voices in my mind telling me to leave and I accepted the invitation to stay. And you know what? I'm so glad I did. The wife and I talked about children, and marriage, and how hard the last year had been on both our families. Then we laughed as we shared that we are both introverts and love our quiet spaces. We played wi…

Beautiful Things

I grew up with a mom who loves beautiful things. Her room is a treasure trove of drawers lined with velvet boxes of sparkling things to wear, mirrored trays of delicious perfumes to dab on wrists, a bed of feathered pillows to sink into, and a walk-in closet lined neatly with every kind of shoe imaginable. Growing up with her was like growing up with a queen in a castle. 

As I grew into a teenager, a lot of the wonder of my mom's way of life began to lose its appeal. I saw how hard she worked to own all the things she wanted. I saw how much time it took to clean silver, and wool, and delicate hand-painted porcelain. And I started to feel that I wanted to spend my life doing other things with my time. 
My first experience with what I now know is called a minimalist lifestyle, was when I nannied for a toddler whose parents were missionaries. They slept on mattresses on the floor, had only one bowl, one cup, and a set of silverware for each person in the family, and they bought rice a…