Skip to main content

Taming My Tongue

So too the tongue is a tiny part of the body, yet it boasts great things.
With it we bless God, the Father; and with it we curse people, who were made in the image of God.  Out of the same mouth come blessing and cursing! Brothers, it isn’t right for things to be this way.
James 3:5,9

My name is Sarah and I am a gossip.

A few months ago I found myself sharing with my husband some things a friend had shared with me in confidence. I shared no intimate details, but just enough to get his view of the situation and some advice as to how to handle it. 

But that had been enough to change my husband's view of that person. Just a few minutes into our conversation I wish I had never opened my mouth.

Then the next morning, as I was doing an online Bible Study, the Lord began to show me the other times in my life where I have done the same thing. I have shared a friend's precious secrets under the guise of "needing prayer" or "just venting" or "wanting advice." 

And suddenly I became aware that I do this multiple times a day, with every conversation I have. A little complaint here, a little venting there, and I have been pulled in to the very thing I have always hated...gossip. 

A gossip goes around revealing secrets, but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence.
Proverbs 11:13

I have caused more heartache than I probably know, and probably more drama. And the worst is that I have hardened the hearts of people towards those they have never even met. My husband and I have been the center of gossip before, and we didn't even know it until months later. It hurt a lot to learn that we had been talked about to people we didn't interact with or even know. To think I may have caused someone else the same pain! 

I didn't start out looking to slander anyone's name or reputation. I started out with what I call "good gossip." I wanted to share all the good things the people in my life had done with the other people in my life. But it's so easy to slip from the good someone has done to the little things they do that are different from us. Then to the things that irk us. Then to the bigger issues of our relationships with them. Until it's hard to see the good in that person and only the irritations and short-comings. 

It's one thing to seek advice from a mentor or friend for my own issues and struggles. But when it comes to the issues and struggles of others, I want to keep those between the Lord and them. I want to pray with the person and trust that God will sort it all out in their hearts. And if I must vent, I will vent to my journal and the Lord or go for a walk. Maybe invest in a punching bag. 

I want to be a woman above reproach. That goal seems so insurmountable. Especially in the light of this new revelation that my heart is not where it should be. But my Father is the Lord of new mercies and new creations. Create in me a pure heart, oh God, and renew a right spirit within me!


Popular posts from this blog

Body Image

I remember being 6 years old in my dance class. My mom walked out of the parent waiting area and offered me a sip of her Sprite. Two sips in I heard the teacher say from the front of the room, "That's enough. She doesn't need any more sweets. She's big enough." Some of the other girls snickered. After we finished our winter show later that month, I never went back to dance lessons again. 

I remember being 8 years old and my parents had friends over for dinner. The youngest was my age so upstairs we went to play. I sat on the edge of my bed while she ransacked my room. I told her she was being too rough with my stuff. She turned around, poked me in the stomach, and out of nowhere said,"Well at least I'm not chubby." I had no words for her statement but I spent the rest of the evening avoiding her by pretending to help in the kitchen. 

At 13 years old, my best guy friend told me that he would be interested in dating me if my legs were a little leaner an…


There's a secretary desk in my dining room that has been waiting to be fixed and refinished for almost four years. For almost two years after I triumphantly found it on Craigslist, it sat completely untouched. It's been moved from house to house and room to room, waiting patiently. I finally started pulling it apart two winters ago and still haven't managed to paint all of it. Every day it looks sadly at me as I go about doing the rest of the urgent things on my to-do list. Every day it gets pushed back to the bottom of the list. I don't have enough time. I don't have enough energy. I don't have the right tools for the job. And yet deep inside I know I want to do this project and should do this project and will feel so much better once it's done and looking all pretty. 

Sadly, that desk isn't the only project I haven't finished. My daughter's baby shadow boxes, my vegetable garden, my first book, and don't even get me started on my wedding al…


It is a Japanese word that translated means "sunlight filtered through the leaves of a tree."
A word that encompasses all the wonder and beauty of one of my most beloved images. 
In the spring, the leaves are new and bright green and the light that filters through them is fresh and vibrant and whispers promises of new things to come. 
In the summer, the green, filtered light is a rest from the heat and the bustle of life. 
In the fall, the chill in the air and the array of a thousand colors invite us to come and play and be a child again. 
In the winter, the cold breeze blows unhindered through the naked trees, but their absence gives an unhindered view of the layout of the land.
Komorebi in each season of nature is a symbol of a season of my own life. 
Not too long ago I was missing those leaves and missing that sun. Anxiety, insomnia, depression, and awful physical symptoms plagued me until some days I couldn't even get out of bed. It was winter in my life and the ch…